top of page

Get new posts by email

Thanks for subscribing

How to Get a Girlfriend (Explained Step-by-Step)

Updated: Sep 15

If you’ve been single for a while, you might be wondering how you can get a girlfriend — and fast. While there’s no miraculous way to make every girl fall in love with you, there are a few ways you can put yourself out there and set yourself up for success.

Actually, you’ve got a better chance of getting a girlfriend than you think! From social circles, and social networks to approaching girls in public, I’ll walk you through the best strategies to start finding and flirting with potential girlfriends. Read on for a complete step-by-step guide on meeting new girls, improving your flirting game, and landing more dates with the girl you like. Learn where you can meet potential girlfriends and how you can approach them to ask them out.

Things You Should Know

  • Mutual friends, social media, daygame cold approach, and nightgame in clubs are all great ways to meet potential future girlfriends, for instance.

  • If you hit it off with a girl, ask her on a date. Keep building your connection and when you feel ready, ask her to be your girlfriend.

  • If it doesn't work out, don't get discouraged. Instead, get back out there and try again.

1. Click on this link

to learn my world-renowned SMASH™ seduction system on how to approach women you find attractive, seduce them and rapidly build a connection, get laid, and get yourself a girlfriend. The system is optimized for fast lays and infield tested worldwide. My clients and I used the SMASH™ system to get laid many many times in 58 countries!

2. Practice good personal hygiene to make yourself more appealing

In order to get a girlfriend, you need to be dateable first. Bathe at least once a day, brush and floss your teeth twice a day, and use personal care products like cologne or designer perfume. The stronger and more distinctive - the better. Additionally, make sure your clothes are washed. This will help you appear your best and will show girls that you take good care of yourself.

Always have a fresh haircut and and freshly trimmed beard or be shaved. Never be sloppy.

3. Do fun activities or a hobby and be passionate about something (have a life)

so you seem interesting. Make a list of things you like to do and topics that interest you. Then, do at least one fun thing every day. This will help you enjoy your life more and will show girls that you’re an interesting and fun person.

Tip: After you’re in a relationship, it’s important that you continue these hobbies. A healthy relationship allows both people to spend time working on themself. Your life should never revolve around your girlfriend. Do you know who struggles the most to get a girlfriend? Guys without a life.

4. Be busy and comfortable with being alone so you appear confident.

If you seem desperate and needy, you will have a hard time making a connection with girls and getting a girlfriend. Look for ways to be happy while you’re single. Spend time doing things that interest you, and enjoy your time with friends. Don’t make finding a relationship the most important thing in your life.

Girls are more attracted to you when you seem happy with your life, so this can help you get a girlfriend.

5. Ask your friends to introduce you to girls they know.

Your friends likely know single girls they could introduce you to, and this is a common way for people to meet. Get your friends to arrange group outings so you can meet their female friends. Social circle is the easiest way to get a girlfriend.

6. Talk to girls on social media

You can reconnect with old friends or reach out to new ones. If you see someone cute on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, try reaching out via DM to start a conversation. As you two chat, you might be able to get her number and then eventually ask her out.

If you already know her, try starting the conversation with something like, “Hey! Remember me? I think we had English class together in high school.”

If you don’t know her, try something like, “Hey I love that new pic you just posted.”

7. Approach girls in public

It sounds scary, but it can help you meet new girls fast. If you spot a cute girl out in public, feel free to go up to her and start chatting. If you aren't sure what to say, try commenting on something unique about her that you particularly like. Introduce yourself. Then, let the conversation flow from there.

Some women might not want to be approached in public, which is fine. If the girl you’re talking to isn’t responding or looks uncomfortable, don’t push it. Say: "Take it as a compliment then." and leave. Go to the next girl you like. Rinse and repeat until you find the receptive girl.

8. Use open body language

When you’re out, don’t close yourself off.

Instead, stand with your arms down by your side and your head held high. Maintain good posture make eye contact with people, and smile as you pass them by.

Open body language suggests that you’re open to chatting with new people.

Try to avoid looking down and crossing your arms, since that signals you don’t want to talk to anyone.

If you like a girl, try using your body language to flirt with her. Look into her eyes a little longer than you normally would, lean in closer to her, or touch her on the arm or elbow, for instance.

9. Ask a girl you click with to go on a date with you (and get her number)

Be direct and ask her for a date. Being direct is the best way to get a date, though you may be rejected. Tell the girl that you’re interested in going out with her, then suggest a date.

When you decide to ask a girl out, plan an activity for you two. You could try having a coffee or a drink together, walking in the park or along the beach, or seeing a movie together. If you have something specific to do, she’ll be more likely to say yes.

Say something like, “I like you. Let's go have a coffee together. What time would be the best for you?” And then just accept, if it fits your schedule.

10. Get to know the girl on your date

Now’s your chance to see if you two are compatible. When you hang out on your date, talk about your interests, your friends, and what you want to do in the future. If you’re both having fun, then that means you two should probably keep seeing each other! If you’re not having such a great time, it probably means you two just aren’t meant to be.

Bad dates might happen, and that’s okay. Going out on dates is the only way to figure out if you want this girl to be your girlfriend or not (and if she wants to be yours).

11. Figure out if you two are a good fit

As you two hang out, think about how you feel when you’re around her.

Just because you guys go on one or few dates doesn’t necessarily mean you two would make a good couple. If you have a fun time with her, are able to talk about a wide variety of topics, and think she’s a good person, then you’re probably a good match.

On the flip side, if you two often run out of things to talk about, argue, or don’t really have a good time together, it might be time to set your sights elsewhere.

If you aren’t a good fit, let her know that the spark just isn’t there and you don’t think you guys are going to work out.

12. Flirt, touch, and kiss her

Before you kiss a girl you should prime her with touch. Make her comfortable with your touch and proximity.

You will need to kiss the girl passionately on your very first date, to convey experience, genuine interest, and passion to the girl in order to ensure a second date.

Failing to do so, on a first date, might cause the girl to perceive you as friend material, or even worse, the girl being disappointed and cold and never answer your messages and phone calls again AKA ghosting you.

13. Spend more time together

If your first date went well, ask her out for another one. You can plan another activity for you two, or you can let her take the lead. Keep heading out on dates until you two feel like you really know each other.

Try out a variety of fun things to explore stuff together. You could try going to the beach, getting drinks, or having a picnic. Or even meet her family.

Spend time with her to help your relationship grow. How much time you spend together in person will depend on how old you are and your personal schedule. Do your best to schedule regular dates or hangouts, even if you're both busy. Additionally, make an effort to sit by her when you're together.

Spending time together will help you deepen your connection with her, which can help you get her to be your girlfriend

14. Get intimate with her

Once you primed the girl with touch and landed a few kisses it's time to pull her home at the high point in the interaction and get intimate.

Just say to her straight:

"Let's go to my place to kiss and cuddle a little bit".

Tip: Know that before you get intimate with a girl, you don't have a girlfriend but just a platonic friend which basically means nothing.

15. Ask her to be your girlfriend when you’re ready

Once you feel like you know her well, you can pop the question. There’s no specific timeline for how long you should wait to ask, but you two should probably have gone out on a few dates at least. Try asking her to be your girlfriend when you’re out on a romantic date to make her feel special.

You could say something like, “I really like you, and I like where our relationship is going. I was wondering if you’d want to make it official and be my girlfriend.”

16. Get back out there if she’s not the one

Getting a girlfriend might take a few tries. If you went on a few dates and it just didn’t work out, that’s okay! The important thing is that you pick yourself back up and try again. Keep putting yourself out there until you find the right girl for you.

The more dates you go on, the more likely you are to find a girlfriend.


  • Don’t do too much for a girl you’re trying to date if she’s not putting in the same amount of effort. She may not be interested in you, so it’s best to move on.

  • Don’t try to rush into a relationship. A healthy relationship takes time to grow and develop into something real.

  • Focus on living a purposeful life that you enjoy and at the same time dedicate time to actively approaching women and searching for girlfriends. This will help you find a girlfriend better than doing only one of these things at a time. You need to understand that women won't magically fall from the sky in your lap. You will need to take action, act like a man, and approach women first.


  • Don't talk about past girlfriends (if you have had them). This is a no-no and a sure turn-off. You will only project the impression that you are unable to let go.

  • Don’t get mad at her if she rejects you. Everyone has a right to their own feelings. If she rejects you as a partner, try to keep her as a friend as she might have female friends who are a perfect match for you. Always remain positive and move on.

  • Always make sure that she's completely free and single in order to save yourself a bunch of time and effort and avoid getting in trouble and having bad times. Be very careful if she suddenly says that she's "single and not looking for a boyfriend". Most of the girls use that argument as a trap to deceive incautious men, keep them as orbiters in the friend zone and many of them end up seriously hurt. If she is not down, move on ASAP.

  • Getting a girlfriend for social pressure (for the influence of your friends or your family) is counterproductive. It is a mistake. Never rush into a relationship. Let it develop or fail naturally.

How to Get a Girlfriend (Explained step by step)

Coached by

Andreas Ardent,

World's Best Dating Coach for Men

bottom of page